Becoming HER: the Best Version of Me
Becoming HER, a personal letter to me. This is me, stripping away every layer of doubt, fear, and hesitation to lay my soul bare. This is a message to myself, the woman I am becoming.
For too long, I have watched my life from the sidelines, dreaming of the person I want to be. I want to be an incredible mom, a loving and supportive wife, and a dedicated and God-fearing woman. I’m aiming to inspire, serve, and empower others while chasing my dreams, building my business, and living a fulfilled life. I want to be a woman who leaves a mark on this world.
This is my commitment to growth. I promise never to settle for less than the greatness I was meant for. But before becoming HER, I must face the truth of who I am right now. And if you’re reading this, I hope my words resonate with you, inspire you, and push you towards your transformation to become the best version of yourself.
Becoming the Best Mom I Can Be
Motherhood is a gift, a blessing beyond measure and I am incredibly grateful for the privilege of raising my little one. I have this little human being in my life to love, protect, care for, and raise. It’s a huge responsibility that I am thankful for but I underestimated motherhood completely. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, motherhood is beating me upside down right now.
Let’s be honest, motherhood is tough. Motherhood is one of the most challenging journeys a woman can embark on. It tests patience, strength, and resilience in ways nothing else does. I love my child with every fiber of my being, but there have been moments where I felt like I was drowning.
I lost myself in the routine of caregiving. The sleepless nights, the constant worry, the never-ending responsibility, consumed me. I felt like I was failing like I wasn’t measuring up to the idealized version of motherhood I had in my head.
Reclaiming My Joy in Motherhood
The first step to reclaiming my joy in motherhood was acceptance, embracing that this is my reality and my purpose. Next, I’m making adjustments to find balance. I realized that being a great mom doesn’t mean being a perfect mom. It means showing up, being present, and loving my child with all my heart. It means giving myself grace and understanding that I am doing my best.
I want to be more intentional. I want to create memories, laugh more, play more, and soak in every beautiful moment. My child deserves a happy, whole mother, and that starts with me taking care of myself, too.
Self-care plays a vital role in being the best mom I can be. I need to ensure that I am mentally, emotionally, and physically well so that I can pour from a full cup. Prioritizing my health and happiness is just as important as caring for my child.
Reigniting the Love in My Marriage
As I struggled through the ups and downs of motherhood, I unintentionally started giving my husband the bare minimum. To say that I only focused on doing the basics is an understatement. I did what was necessary cook, clean, and take care of the home but I did it all on autopilot. I forgot to do it with love, with presence, with appreciation.
That’s not the wife I want to be. I want to be his partner, his confidante, his best friend. I want to bring back the spark, the connection, and the little things that make a marriage strong. Love isn’t just about grand gestures; it’s in the small, everyday moments. A kind word, a thoughtful action, a deep conversation.
I am making a conscious effort to pour into my marriage with intention. I want to build a love that is strong, vibrant, and full of life. Open communication is key. I am making the conscious decision to show up as a loving, present, and supportive wife because when love is nurtured, it thrives.
Becoming a Hard-Working, God-Fearing Woman
Yes, I have been working hard but I feel like I do not work hard enough. I only work hard at my current job because it gives an immediate financial reward. It is my bread and butter, it simply pays the bills. I have neglected my personal goals, my dreams, and, most importantly, my relationship with God. The purpose He has for me got blurred out and that should change.
I am refocusing my energy on my faith, prioritizing prayer, worship, and spiritual growth. My prayer journal, which has collected dust for too long, will be my space for reflection, gratitude, and spiritual growth. I want to be more grateful for everything I am, have, and can do. I am ready to listen, trust, and follow the path God has set for me.
Rising into my higher self is not just about success; it’s about purpose. And I know that my true purpose can only be found through my relationship with Him.
Serving Others Through My Passion
My love for hair care isn’t just a hobby it’s a calling. Helping others is a core part of my purpose. There is something so fulfilling about helping others learn to embrace their hair, to feel beautiful, and to gain confidence through proper care and education. Whether it’s natural hair or extensions, I love sharing my experiences, discoveries, and techniques to help others.
I started this website as a passion project, but I will continue to create valuable content that educates, inspires, and empowers others on their journey. The haircare industry is where my heart belongs, and I am committed to using my knowledge to help educate and inspire others to grow and thrive with their haircare goals.
Unleashing my full potential as a Businesswoman
I have dreamed of becoming a successful entrepreneur in the haircare industry. I want to build a thriving business, not just for myself, but for others who can benefit from the knowledge and services I provide.
So, what has been holding me back? The truth is I have been holding myself back. I let fear, doubt, and procrastination get in the way. I struggle with accountability and give up too easily when challenges arise. That ends now. This business gets built step by step, no matter how long it takes. I refuse to let my dreams slip through my fingers.
I will create a clear business plan, set achievable goals, and stay consistent in my efforts. Success does not happen overnight, but with persistence and dedication, I will get there.
What Will I Do Differently This Time?
This time, I am not just making promises to myself I am committing. A commitment to show up for myself every single day. I have been stuck in a comfortable yet unfulfilling mentality for far too long, and it has drained me. No more waiting for the right time this is the right time. What’s different this time? My mindset. I am stepping into a goal-driven, proactive, Type A personality starting now.
Adopting a Goal-Oriented Mindset
No more passive aspirations. I will set clear, actionable, and measurable goals, writing them down to keep them visible and real. Without a roadmap, dreams remain distant. I refuse to let mine slip away. Starting with daily discipline: Small, consistent actions will get me further than sporadic bursts of motivation. Secondly, are regular goal check-ins: I will evaluate my progress, adjust my approach, and celebrate milestones along the way. Lastly comes accountability: I will hold myself to my commitments, with no excuses.
Success doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by intention, discipline, and persistence and I am ready to step up. I will review, adjust, and set new milestones as I accomplish each one. No more excuses. No more waiting for motivation to strike. I will create my momentum.
How Will I Stay Motivated to become the woman I want to be?
Motivation isn’t something I can rely on. It fluctuates, it fades, and it’s unreliable. Instead of waiting for motivation to strike, I will build systems that keep me moving forward on my journey to becoming my higher self.
I thrive on my surroundings. My environment shapes my energy, and right now, my space is not where I need it to be.
Decluttering My Space, Clearing My Mind
For two years, I’ve been doing the bare minimum at home, and now, I can feel it weighing on me. The clutter, the disorganization, the chaos it’s suffocating. I am a product of my surroundings. Right now, my space does not reflect the person I want to become. Clutter breeds chaos, and I do not want to let disorder hold me back any longer.
So, step by step, I will transform my space into a clean, organized, inspiring haven. Decluttering and organizing my home will give me the mental clarity I need to thrive. Creating an inspiring workspace will help me stay focused and productive. A clean, intentional home will allow me to feel lighter, freer, and ready to take action. If I want to think bigger, my environment must support that growth.
Elevating My Circle: The People I Surround Myself With
People can either fuel your growth or drain your energy there is no in-between. I’ve had enough of unmotivated, dreamless people. If someone isn’t driven, inspired, or striving for more, I will distance myself. If they constantly complain, doubt, or settle, they are not aligned with where I am going. I do not want to let stagnant energy keep me from my potential. If they don’t push themselves and If they don’t see the bigger picture, BYE!
At the same time, I will intentionally curate my online space. The people I follow on social media will be those who inspire me, who chase their dreams, who hold themselves accountable, and who strive for greatness. No more mindless scrolling, no more distractions. Every piece of content I consume will be meaningful and add value to my journey of becoming HER.
Prioritizing Self-Care: Mind, Body & Confidence
I have neglected myself for too long, and that stops now. Physically, emotionally, and mentally everything needs a reset. Caring for myself is no longer optional; it is a requirement. Fitness: That mommy weight? It has to go. I might not be a gym person, but that’s not an excuse. I will find a way, home workouts, walks, dance, whatever it takes. Healthy Eating: Small, intentional steps. More whole foods, more balance, more nourishment. Skincare & Style: Looking good makes me feel good. Skincare, wardrobe, confidence, and put-together, I will show up as the version of me that I am becoming.
The way I treat myself sets the tone for everything else in my life.
Upping My Knowledge & Staying Inspired
Growth is a continuous process, it happens through learning, curiosity, through exposure to new ideas.
More books. More knowledge. More expansion. Currently, I’m reading A Gentle Reminder by Bianca Sparacino, and it has been exactly what I needed a push in the right direction. My goal is to read one book a month, and even though I am behind, I will not quit. There is always time to catch up. Progress is progress.
I will also invest time in online courses to refine my skills, broaden my knowledge, and continue evolving. Reading personal development books, watching insightful content, and engaging in activities that feed my mind. Becoming HER isn’t just about motivation, it’s about action. Learning will be a priority, but applying what I learn is just as important. The best version of me is not found in my comfort zone. I will step out, experiment, fail, learn, and improve.
How Am I Doing Health-Wise?
Last year, I felt drained. I had no energy, no motivation, and a constant sense of exhaustion. I needed answers, so I took action. A full blood check revealed I had a Vitamin D deficiency, which explained my fatigue. Now, I take daily supplements, and I am already seeing a difference.
But there was something deeper going on aswell; postpartum depression. I hadn’t acknowledged its impact, but now I see it. Healing is not a linear journey, but I am actively working on my mental and emotional well-being. Taking care of my health is not just about surviving; it’s about thriving.
Understanding My Scalp Condition and Health Journey
For years, I dealt with an undiagnosed scalp condition that impacted my confidence and well-being. What started as flaky patches around my hairline quickly spread across my entire scalp. Eventually, the irritation extended to my ears, leading to recurrent infections.
It wasn’t until my second painful ear infection that I sought answers I decided to dig deeper. I visited an ear specialist who discovered a fungal infection in my ear canal, which was blocking my eardrum and affecting my hearing. That was when everything clicked my ongoing scalp issues and the infections were connected.
Upon discussing my symptoms, my doctor examined my scalp and confirmed that I had a scalp fungus. It was a relief to finally have an answer after years of struggling with irritation, inflammation, and discomfort. The doctor prescribed me a ketoconazole shampoo to treat the fungal infection.
Treating My Scalp Better This Time
I had been prescribed this same shampoo years ago but didn’t use it correctly because I believed my condition was something else, such as scalp psoriasis. Back then, I didn’t follow the proper instructions, leading me to experiment with other products that only worsened my scalp issues. Read about My Story & Finding My Purpose where I explained it more.
This time, I am determined to give the prescribed treatment a fair chance. My doctor advised me to wash my hair twice a week with the ketoconazole shampoo, leaving it on my scalp for at least ten minutes before rinsing. I need to follow this regimen for six to eight weeks to see significant improvement.
However, there is a national shortage of ketoconazole shampoo, and my pharmacy has informed me that it could take four to six weeks before it becomes available. In the meantime, I managed to find an alternative shampoo, Nizerol, which contains the same active ingredient. I have started using it and will track my progress carefully.
This time, I am following the treatment properly. I am committed to healing my scalp and restoring my confidence. If you are dealing with an ongoing health issue, don’t ignore it. Seek help, be persistent, and take your health seriously.
Facing My Truth & Owning my Glow-up
Writing this post is terrifying because it forces me to be brutally honest with myself. It forces me to acknowledge my weaknesses, my struggles, and my fears. But it also allows me to see my strength, my resilience, and my potential.
This is my promise to myself: I will not give up on myself. I will push forward, no matter how many times I stumble. I will embrace growth, even when it’s uncomfortable. I will become HER the woman I was always meant to be. This is a full transformation. I am not waiting for the perfect time I am making this the perfect time. I am not waiting for motivation I am creating discipline. I am not waiting for external validation I am showing up for myself.
If you are on your journey of self-improvement, know this: You are not alone. Growth is hard, but it is worth it. Keep pushing, keep believing, and keep striving. The only way out is through action. No one is coming to rescue you. You have to be the one to change your life. It starts with one decision, one step, one small change. Need more motivation? Read How You Can Become a Phenomenal Woman, it’s a motivational article on Forbes.
A wave of anxiety washes over me as I prepare to publish this post. It’s terrifying to be this vulnerable, but I refuse to let fear hold me back. With shaking hands I’m hitting the “publish” button because this is the start of my new beginning.
Cheers to this first post in a long time, cheers to transformation, resilience, and becoming HER.
With love,
Xx, Cher
Related article:
Wig related articles:
Video: How to Create a New Version of Yourself: Let Go of Past Mistakes & Regret with Sarah Jakes Roberts
Becoming HER: A Letter to My Current and Future Self
